If Your Small Group Was Made Up Of The 2016 GOP Candidates

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Imagine that your small group is made up of the 2016 GOP presidential candidates. You’d find yourself experiencing a group dynamic like no other.

First you’d have to establish immediately that the group meeting is a no spin zone. Getting the full and real story would be a responsibility only the most seasoned of leaders would be able to accomplish.

Secondly, it would be important that you make sure everyone in the group agree to a covenant and that covenant would have to include, 1) no interrupting others when they’re talking, 2) no name calling, 3) no discarding the ideas of others, 4) no hogging the group discussion by talking on and on, 5) no bringing up mistakes other group members have made in the past, and 6) no beating up on the group facilitator when you don’t like the questions that are being asked.

Thirdly, it would be essential that you consistently remind this very special group that there’s a difference between someone’s opinion and God’s truth. Why? A few of the folks in the room may actually have a God complex.

Fourthly, you’d be wise to remind the group that they’ve come together to discuss Scripture, not politics. Nuff said!

And finally… If you were going to lead this group you’d need to take into consideration where each of your group members might have some work to do.

Jeb Bush – Jeb, I know you’re having a tough day, but please don’t attack your long time friend, Marco, in front of the rest of the group. We need for you to practice Matthew 18. If he won’t listen to you then I’ll go with you to talk with him.

Ben Carson – Thanks for being so kind. But, if we’re going to grow we need for you to be willing to admonish the other group members when they have a blind spot they’re unaware of.

Chris Christie – You’re sometimes overly aggressive during our discussion time. It would be helpful to the group if you’d speak in a tone of voice that is a bit less intimidating.

Ted Cruz – I know you’re passionate about some of the issues we’re discussing. But, please stop filibustering our Bible study. Some of the others would like to engage in the conversation. Not only that, we need to finish our meeting on time because some of the group members have babysitters at their house.

Carly Fiorina – No matter what your enemies say, you’re a beautiful person with a beautiful smile. Also… It would be helpful if you’d share your life story a bit more when the group is together. It will inspire all of us to trust God in all situations, even during an election season.

Mike Huckabee – I’m so honored you’re in this group. By all means, when we’re heading down a pathway toward a misunderstanding of what the Bible actually says… speak up!

John Kasich – Please sit closer to the middle of the room when we meet. We love what you have to say but you’re so far from the rest of the group that your thoughts seldom gain a hearing.

Rand Paul – I know you want everyone to be able to do their own thing but, when we’re discussing right from wrong, please stop suggesting it’s okay for the group to smoke pot.

Marco Rubio – Please stop reminding the rest of the group that your family isn’t from here. We’d like to think we’re becoming a family to you.

Donald Trump – Mr. Trump, holding your childhood Bible up and yelling to the rest of the group, “I am a great Christian – I am – I am.”, probably proves you aren’t… yet.

And when guest Hillary Clinton shows up and joins the group… About that email thing… If you have a sin to confess, we’re here for you.

Obviously… This is all tongue and cheek with no insinuation of a weakness, mistakes made, misleading comments, or political intent at all! Hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

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One comment

  1. Hilarious, Rick, and right on target. You could’ve said much more, but I’m kinda glad you held back. The leader of this group better be pretty strong to keep this group healthy. Condaleezza?

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